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Half Past Dead (November 17, 2002)
Just two months ago, I wrote about how depressingly 80s action film retro I found “Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever.” Now comes another slice of the same bitter pie, “Half Past Dead.”
Sascha (Steven Segal) and Nick (rapper Ja Rule) are two criminal buddies out to make a huge score with some stolen goods. When an FBI agent (Claudia Christian) interrupts the deal, the duo is sent to the new, improved Alcatraz to serve their prison sentences. While Sascha and Nick are finding their bearings, a team of thieves, lead by criminal mastermind Donny (Morris Chestnut, “Like Mike“), have broken into the prison to retrieve information from a death row inmate about 200 million dollars worth of stolen gold bars. With the FBI held at bay as Donny and his crew raise hell in the prison, it’s up to Sascha and Nick to save the day.
Television actor Don Michael Paul (“Renegade,” “Models, Inc.”) makes his directorial debut with “Half Past Dead,” and somebody’s been studying the Michael Bay school of action. “Dead” isn’t anything new. It’s chaotically photographed and sloppily performed like countless other action vehicles, scored with any rap or nu-metal track the production could get its hands on, and actually tries to make Steven Seagal into a sensitive hero, allowing the stilted actor some scenes of smiling, and even comedy, to open up his range. It’s like watching Leatherface on “Whose Line Is It Anyways?” It just doesn’t quite work or make sense.
Even though the film is decidedly formulaic, you can only fight that for so long before you have to make due with what you’ve got. And “Half Past Dead” ain’t half bad, if you can stomach the lack of creativity, and the employment of not one, but two rappers in the film (Kurupt has a small role). A small time rip-off of “The Rock,” “Die Hard,” and any other gun fetishizing, machismo actioner you can think of from the late 80s to the mid 90s, “Dead” attempts to be oceans of fun, but Paul shamelessly guides his film through the motions, without any idea that what he is committing to film here is beyond played out.
It’s not that he’s wasting a great leading cast in the process. Though notorious for letting the camera sell his fight scenes for him, it seems Steven Seagal went one better and only showed up for his close-ups here in “Dead.” The once mighty, now just absurd action star doesn’t help Paul out with his monotonous line readings and refusal to perform a single one of his own stunts. Same goes for baddie Morris Chestnut, whose matches Seagal scene for scene with his own brand of lifeless, embarrassing acting (this is the second film the actors have made together). And the less said about Ja Rule, the better. Can we even call what he does acting?
Thankfully, Paul has cast his supporting players with a little more flair, and maybe even helped out some old friends in the process. Television vets Bruce Weitz (“Hill Street Blues”) and Tony Plana (“Resurrection Blvd.”) turn in strong work as a death row inmate and an Alcatraz warden, respectively. Claudia Christian (“Babylon 5”) brings a rough butchness to her FBI role, conjuring up more testosterone than any of the rappers. Even Stephan J. Cannell, old-school action producer of “The A-Team” and “Hunter,” shows up in a small role. And Nia Peeples, of all people, the eternally chipper host of the failed 90s dance show “The Party Machine” and a vet of countless TV movies, takes on the role of Donny’s number one hit woman. Peeples steals the movie away from everyone, mostly because it appears she’s the only one to show up for her stunt work. With an entire movie you can set your watch to, Paul’s little casting surprises outside of Seagal keeps this desperate little film interesting.
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